, , ,

Day 3 of the no carb, no sugar, no starch, no caffeine purge/detox/masochistic quest. I’ve spent the last couple of days feeling like absolute crap, tired, headachy, mildly nauseous, aching in every joint and muscle, and just generally bitchy. Yesterday afternoon was the worst: I actually felt like I had a migraine headache; it hurt to look at bright lights. I assume this is a combination of sugar and caffeine withdrawal.

Today I’m feeling moderately better, although that could just be a function of being well-rested. I’m hoping that the whole “ketosis” thing is kicking in, and there are certain signs — i.e. really bad breath and (to put it delicately) “strong” urine. I don’t have much of an appetite, but once I start in on a given meal I’m usually okay to finish it.

The cravings are driving me mad, though. I want a loaf of Belgian bread fresh from the bakery, or croissants, or maybe just a big bowl of pralines & cream ice cream. Or coffee, strong and with loads of sugar and cream, just how I like it. I can’t have any of those things, of course, and it’s getting annoying how many of my friends and family are, in the face of my misery, suggesting that it’s okay to “cheat” just a little on my diet. Maybe a small piece of chocolate, or a cup of coffee so long as I “balance it out” with something else, or maybe just a half-spoon of sugar in my tea. Just to take the edge off.

My frustration could just be because I’m cranky and half-looped, but I’ve been pretty snappish about these suggestions. The truth is, there’s no wiggle room because this isn’t just a really strict diet. This is breaking an addiction. I know that people mean well and that it’s hard for them to watch me go through this, but I really wish everyone would stop trying to show their sympathy by suggesting that I can cheat a bit to moderate the effects. I can’t, and it’s very, very hard to keep that in mind when people keep suggesting that I can. This is not easy, so however well-intentioned everyone may be, I need you all to please stop making it harder.

The Fiancée™ has been fabulous in all this. She cleaned out the cupboards to remove all temptation (although she missed a half-container of pralines & cream in the freezer, which may get dumped in the sink if I think my willpower is going to waver) and has never once, even in the face of me curled up in a dark bedroom trying not to move, suggested that I cheat a little on my diet. She’s been by turns supportive, sympathetic, and bullying. She won’t let me backslide.

Hopefully the worst will be over soon. I’ve been told that Day 5 is the magic day, when the body remembers to burn off its internal fat and all of a sudden the carb and sugar cravings stop. The Doc promised that at that point I’d “feel great”. I’ll settle for not feeling like I’ve got a migraine piled on top of a hangover.